Staying Calm In A Difficult Situation
Your boss is yelling at you. He called you into his office, slammed the door, and is unloading on you
Maybe you made a mistake, maybe you didn’t. Either way, you don’t appreciate his verbal tongue lashing. Your heart races as you decide your next move.
This is a difficult situation, and difficult situations are not pleasant. They appear from nowhere and are usually negative in nature. It’s at this moment you need to remain calm and keep a clear head. The next words out of your mouth can have serious ramifications.
That’s why I like to breakdown the above scenario. Most people can relate, either from experience or through imagination, to having a boss yell at them. It’s not as extreme as being attacked from behind, but it’s easier to prepare for a less difficult situation than a more serious one.
What to Do
First, don’t look at it as a problem, but rather as a challenge. When a difficult situation arises, if we tell ourselves it’s going to be hard, then it will be hard. Ask yourself, “What is my desired outcome and what are the steps to achieve that outcome?”
In sparring we adjust to whatever happens at the time. It’s a back and forth. It’s a give and take. If a punch comes, I block, and then move and come back. Someone throws a kick, I move and come back. Someone goes to hit me, I hit him first.
It helps to think of your actions in reverse order. When I designed my school, I started at the end goal which is the black belt. I visualized what my black belt student looked like, what he or she knew and could perform, and was then able to work backwards to know what my white belt student looked like.
So, if your boss is yelling at you, figure out your desired outcome and work the steps in reverse.
- If your desired outcome is to get into a verbal yelling match, then go ahead and argue back.
- If your desired outcome is having your boss see your side, then maybe structure the conversation with a more persuasive language.
- If your desired outcome has a bigger picture (lose the battle, but win the war), then maybe you let it go for now and win this person over in the future another way.
With any difficult situation, staying calm is key. Make note of how you deal with smaller, less serious situations. It’ll help you deal with the larger ones.
Master Gorino’s Tae Kwon-Do offers a trial program for individuals and families in Buffalo, NY and the surrounding areas that allows you to get a feel for the different classes, meet our instructors, and experience our dojang. It’s a great way to see if Tae Kwon-Do is right for you. To learn more or to sign up, register online or call (716) 836-KICK (5425) and a member of our team will follow up with you on next steps. We look forward to helping you achieve your goals. Pil-Sung!